I Have Become the Person that I have Always Wanted to Be

I got through some anxiety-filled days and came out of the other side.  I have learned how to manage it so much better than in the past.  Not drinking really helps!  In the past when I homeschooled, I would drink to relieve the anxiety and it would make it worse long-term.

Now, I have so many coping mechanisms, and I have a med that I can take as needed as well that’s just basically a beefed up version of Benadryl.  I don’t take it often (it makes me sleepy the next day), but it really helps!

Anyway.  This week was just so great.  I know I say this all the time, but I’m living my best life… a life that I dreamed about!  One that I never thought I would be able to live again.  I am blown away at God’s goodness in my life.

I feel like I have become the person that I have always wanted to be (and have been in the past but had to let go of because of my mental illness).  A Christ loving, crunchy, Charlotte Mason Inspired/Wild + Free Homeschooling, outdoorsy, yoga-doing, Childbirth Ed student.

Friday the boys and I went on our first Wild + Free hike and it was so good for us.  It was only 2 or so miles, but it was a pretty intense hike (lots of uphill and straight downhill).  I struggled because I’m out of shape (more about that later), but the boys did soooo awesome.  Levi, who doesn’t normally love the outdoors, was in the lead a lot of it.  We connected with the new family and just really had a good time.

The movement and difficulty made me want to get out and move more.  It was the perfect motivation to remind me about what I used to be able to do, and what I’m capable of again.  I think I’m going to try out the ladies’ workout mornings here at camp on Tuesday/Thursday as well.  We’ll see how it goes.  Regardless, I plan to go on more hikes and take the boys off trail often.

Robert is getting me a mountain bike, too!  I’m super excited about being outdoors with purpose!  And I want to get more joyful movement in.

Robert bought a rooftop tent and side room for us to go camping all the time!  I am soooo excited about all of the adventure that our family will be able to do.  He was researching different options to make camping more simple for our family and most were out of our price range.  But he got this for a good deal (20% off), and it is going to be perfect.

The tent(s) will fit all of us, but Karis will probably set up her own tent.

We’re planning a trip to national parks this summer!

We will also continue to go to Big Bend Ranch State Park often!  It’s our favorite place.

This afternoon, we went on a great little hike as a fam.  Before we went, Levi put together a “Nature box” that has his animal tracks book, scissors, a pocket knife, a flashlight, a notebook, and a pencil!  He was actually excited about hiking because of this.

The kids are getting used to us dragging them out.  It’s so amazing.  We really had a good time.

Then we ended the day around a fire with friends.

It makes me happy that we have spent a lot of time outside the past few days!

2 thoughts

  1. Stranger here… but I’m so happy for you! It’s always exciting to see growth in ourselves, isn’t it? And it’s not easy to admit our foibles, frailties and vulnerabilities, but you do so with such grace and beauty. God bless xo

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! This past year has been a huge year of growth and it’s all coming together now. I’m loving it and it just makes me happy to be alive.

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